As a man, I want to fix things. I want to get things done. No time to sit around reading tea leaves.
Just call me Vanilla Ice baby because if you have a problem, “Yo, I’ll solve it.”
A friend calls needing some advice – “This is what you tell them……”
Wife begins to mention something going on in the business – “Well here is what you do……”
Kids are running around like a banshee war party – “Hey, calm down and quit swinging from the ceiling fan…….”
Clients begin throwing excuses at me – “It’s simple, all you have to do is…………
The one who gives an answer before he listens - this is foolishness and disgrace for him.Proverbs 18:13
I serve up solutions on silver platters then sit back and wait to respond in a song like Maui with “You’re Welcome” to the flood of “Thank you” and accolades of my greatness.
Over the past few weeks, I have had several instances from books, podcasts, and a few conversations that raised a few questions in my mind.
Questions about asking questions.
I have been focusing more on questions
Questions, not in being nosy, but in a desire to learn more.
Asking better questions.
Asking more questions.
I can ask and learn more about my friends and know them and their situation better. And sometimes I learn something I can apply to my own life.
With clients, asking more questions before giving dishing out knowledge bombs, allows me to dig deeper. This, in turn, allows me to help and provide better pertinent content for them.
When my kids are wild or upset, I have posed questions instead of telling them what to do. Getting on a knee and asking questions in a calm voice calms them and even drys tears when they are upset.
Listening intently to my wife has brought me closer to her. (In case you didn’t know, our ladies do not always want us to be Mr. Fix It or The Answer Man) Sometimes they just need a listening ear. I know it is kind of odd and can be difficult, almost alien, but it is a good thing.
Now I am far from great at this. It has been a process for sure.
But am I working at it? Yes, I am doing my best!
Do you ask questions or just deal out solutions like your playing ‘Go Fish’?
The next time you are about to spit out a solution, pause and dig a little deeper. I challenge you to ask at least three questions before coming in like Vanilla and just solving it.
What questions do you find lead you to a better understanding before you offer a solution?
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.James 1:!9